4 Penis Facts To Change Your Sex Life

BY SARA TANG, SEX COACH

Just like the people they are attached to, penises come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Some penises are circumcised, some aren’t, some are at an angle, others are completely straight.

Growing up – and as adults – we hear a ton of myths and opinions about what a penis “should be”, but these myths perpetrated by locker room talk and representation in porn are incredibly harmful. The reality is, all penises are normal!

It’s imperative that we all understand and love our bodies, or the bodies of the partners we’re with, so we can feel confident in our sexual pleasure, regardless of the appearance of the equipment in front of us.

So what can we learn – and “un-learn” – about penises that will help us and be better in bed?  

Penis Fact #1: Size Matters… Kind Of

The question “does size matter?” is one I hear A LOT. There’s a cultural stereotype that exists that small penis size = less ability to sexually satisfy a partner, but this is simply not true.

So, the answer to the question is a lot more nuanced and complicated than you think. Let’s look at the reason why.

Penis size matters far more to men than it does to women, and penis insecurity is a very real thing; in a 2013 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 30% of a sample of British men were found to be dissatisfied with their penis size, while 85% of women are said to be totally satisfied with their partner’s package.

The problem is, this pervasive feeling of inadequacy means that men who believe their penises are “too small”, or “not normal”, are less likely to undress openly in front of their partner, are less likely to ask for what they want in bed, and are far more likely to believe they are unattractive.

Often when women have been asked about what they want in a lover, they consistently mention kindness, sense of humour, caring and shared interests and values. There is very little talk of penis size.

Sure, there are people in the world who find penises over a certain number of inches sexy. Just as there are people who find penises under a certain number of inches sexy. It really comes down to personal preference.

Being too hung up on penis size is simply missing the point. Ultimately, the biggest sex organ is the brain and great sex is a whole-body experience. There is also so much more to being a good lover than just performing penetrative intercourse. It comes from great communication, creativity and knowing how best to give and receive pleasure.

Take the quiz to figure out how confident a lover you are, and the steps and skills you need to learn to become even more confident.

Penis Fact #2: Penises Are a Package of Erogenous Zones

Some of you may have heard that the clitoris has 8000 nerve endings while the glans (or the head) of the penis has 4000 nerve endings. However, this doesn’t mean that the penis lacks sensitivity – it’s just about stimulating the right parts in the right way.  

The frenulum (the gathering of skin near the head of the penis on the underside) is often the most sensitive part for many males, even in those who have been circumcised, with the glans (the head) coming a close second. Both of these places are ideal for playing with gently in the bedroom.

Of course, while much of the attention focuses on the shaft and head, the testicles and perineum deserve attention too, and can seriously elevate the level of pleasure a penis-owner feels during sex if stimulated. Just remember to be gentle unless told otherwise!

One tip for maintaining penis sensitivity over time is to switch up the favourite position or grip during masturbation as the body can become acclimatised to expect this certain touch or action.

When this happens, the nerve endings that are subject to that particular grip, for instance, might begin to lose some of their sensitivity, leading to areas of the penis that don't respond as well as they used to.

Penis Fact #3: Erections Keep Penises Healthy

Yep, that sounds like a myth (or at least thousands of years of religion would like us to think so), but it’s not.

The intense rush of blood into the penis helps keep the heart and the penis healthy, and orgasms have been seen to reduce stress levels, help men (and women) get a better quality of sleep, and has even been seen to reduce a likelihood of developing prostate cancer, according to Harvard Medical School.

So, how can you keep everything happy and healthy down there?

First, what’s good for your heart is good for your penis, so quit smoking, eating junk, and anything else that’s likely to lead to disease.

Next, use it often. If you read the Harvard study above, it says that penises operate on a “use it or lose it” principle, as every erection means that there is an intense influx of oxygen to the organ it wouldn’t otherwise get. So there shouldn’t be any shame in getting blood in there on a regular basis.

Penis Fact #4: Orgasm Can Happen Without Ejaculation

The male orgasm is synonymous with ejaculation, but they don’t actually have to happen together. In other words, the male orgasm is not the ejaculation itself, they are two separate events that usually take place at the same time.

Ejaculation actually happens when a signal is sent from the spinal cord, not from the brain, which is why men often can’t control how early or late ejaculation occurs for them.

The good news about this is that with some training, it means men, just like women, can have multiple orgasms without a rest period.

How, you ask? Here are a few key methods:

·       Strengthen your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle – this is the muscle that stretches between the pubic bone and the tail bone, and it is responsible for ejaculation. If you can strengthen this muscle by performing Kegel exercises (as you would control the flow of urine as you pee) you may be able to orgasm without ejaculating, meaning you can skip the “reloading” period and jump straight to the next orgasm.

·       Practice suppressing ejaculation as you masturbate – this practice is commonly called edging and semen retention. Practice holding back from ejaculation, by getting as close to the point of no return and then pulling back. As orgasm approaches, take long, deep breaths from your belly to calm the nervous system. 

·       Try experimenting with other kinds of orgasms which are non-ejaculatory, such as prostate orgasms, breath orgasms and nipple orgasms.

If you are a penis-owner and curious to learn how to have multiple orgasms you can research various techniques, particularly from the Tantric tradition. It won’t happen overnight, but it is definitely possible with time, practice and patience.

Explore those Penis Possibilities

These are just a few interesting facts about penises that could change your sex life. But it’s well worth learning as much as you can so you can best pleasure your partners and yourself, and become far more confident in the bedroom.

Next time you hear an opinion about penises, do a little research and figure out if it’s true. Of course, one of the best ways to learn is getting up close and personal and exploring for yourself!  

If you liked this article and are curious to learn more about the sexual body, 4 Clitoris Facts to Change Your Sex Life is a great article to read next. Looking for a little extra support in gaining more sexual confidence or exploring your sexuality? I’d love to be your sex coach. I help singles and couples become better in bed, have better sex, and gain the sex education we simply didn’t get at school.

Did anything in this article surprise you? Leave a comment to let me know.