8 Habits to Boost your Sexual Wellness
BY SARA TANG, SEX COACH
Sexual health and wellness are closely tied to the other decisions we make in our lives.
It’s easy to forget how impactful simple habits can be in increasing our wellness in this area of our lives. By owning our sexual wellness, we can actually boost our overall health and mental well-being as well!
That should be a good reminder that we are meant to have healthy sexual experiences. There is no need to have any guilt about being a sexually healthy person, as it’s a crucial part of our health in general.
In order to bring our bodies in tune with their potential, it’s important to focus on changing certain habits that may need some adjustment. Just a little bit of intentional focus can bring about great results.
Here are some simple habits to boost your sexual health and wellness:
1. MASTURBATE REGULARLY
Maybe you weren’t expecting this one. Backed by science, it’s actually good for you. Whether you’re abstaining from sex with others or are in a healthy sexual relationship, there are benefits to be had from masturbation.
Stress, especially long term stressful, is incredibly harmful to the body and mind. Bringing yourself to orgasm relieves stress and sexual tension, allowing you to focus on other things when you need to.
Sleep is really important for sexual health and overall health also. For those of you with anxiety or who have trouble falling asleep, masturbation puts you in a relaxed state to naturally assist with that.
Orgasms release dopamine and oxytocin which should improve your mood. An improved mood is great for life in general, but particularly when it comes time to have sex with a partner. You’ll be more likely to be in a playful mood if you’re taking care of yourself at other times.
Doing it together with a partner (i.e. mutual masturbation) can increase intimacy while you learn more about each other and explore what each other’s turn-ons are. That results in a more well-rounded relationship.
Masturbation can even increase sexual desire and arousal. It helps you feel more confident with your body when you explore feeling sexy and figure out what turns you on. Find out how confident a lover you are with the quiz below.
2. DO KEGEL EXERCISES.
You may not have thought of this to increase your sexual wellness, but it’s a medical technique that’s scientifically proven to increase sexual pleasure, muscle strength amongst other health benefits.
Sexual experiences are improved by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles in women. Kegels help tone up the pelvic floor and vagina, which in turn contribute to a tighter fit, increased lubrication, and improved intensity of orgasms.
Kegel exercises can also be done by men too, and the benefit is greater ejaculatory control, stronger erections and increased pleasure. That’s well worth a few sets of easy exercises for a couple of minutes a day.
Here’s what you need to do. To identify the pelvic floor muscles, try to stop yourself mid-stream the next time you have to pee and locate the muscles that are contracting. Those are the muscles you’ll use in your Kegels.
Now in order to do one Kegel repetition, tighten the pelvic floor muscles and hold the contraction for five seconds. Relax and exhale for five seconds. Repeat this exercise five times, and then try it for 10 seconds. Now repeat this set 10 times, three times a day—ideally morning, afternoon, and night.
3. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER
We are all inherently social beings and built for connection. Most people find their greatest source of happiness and satisfaction in relationships with other people. Building a great sex and love life long term relies on effective communication.
Ultimately the more we talk about sex, the better our experience of sex is likely to be. The more your partner knows what you like and need, the more they are able to please you. And vice versa.
Talk about it when you feel most comfortable whether it’s out of bed, in bed, or while masturbating. You can confide about turn-ons, frequency, what your limits and fantasies are, and get a feel for what gets them going. You can also experiment with dirty talk or take the quiz below to figure out your intimacy language, and see if that floats your boat.
4. MOVE YOUR BODY
Mary Claire Haver, M.D.an ob-gyn at the University of Texas Medical Branch promotes exercise as a major contributor to sexual arousal and satisfaction. She says that in addition to that, it decreases stress, which is the #1 libido killer for women.
In addition to reducing stress, exercise increases your blood flow and makes you more energetic when the time is right. Having toned muscles makes you primed and ready for sexy moves.
Increased blood flow contributes to arousal in both sexes. Feeling better, along with enhanced self-image from exercise, makes for better sexual functioning. Strength, flexibility and stamina also increase sexual well-being.
Studies show that exercise, particularly weight training, increases testosterone in both men and women. This leads to increased arousal and an elevated sexy vibe. That’s why we call it “sexercise” and getting fit for the bedroom!
5. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
You may have thought mindfulness was limited to a few types of activities. But being fully aware and in the moment during a sexual experience increases not only how good it is for you, but your overall sexual well-being.
Think purposefully about your behaviour instead of acting out of habit. Increase your awareness of what your partner is feeling. This can not only make you better in bed, but can turn you on even more.
Breathe deeply and be aware of every moment. Reduce stress in this way and be more present during lovemaking.
Be aware of your thoughts but not in a judgmental way. Your mindfulness during sex is a good predictor of sexual satisfaction. This blog article gives you more tips around how mindfulness can improve your sex life.
6. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE & DEVICES
Putting them in the other room might be a good idea too. Reduce distractions to really focus on and be all in the moment. A beeping phone or reminder of work can be a real mood killer if it makes your mind wonder who it is, or what new email you’ve got.
Electronic devices are hard to resist, and can break any mindfulness or intensity you’re feeling.
A healthy relationship needs to take a break from their devices to focus on each other. Sexual and mental wellness depend on it, so does being better in bed.
A person can start to feel neglected or unimportant if a phone takes priority over being intimate with them. This can divide people even if they’re not admitting to being bothered by it.
Reading a text is rarely more interesting than sex, and if it is, then working on your sexual wellness should be a priority.
7. GET TESTED FOR SEXUAL WELLNESS
You want to be as healthy as you can be. Ideally, you also want to be honest and upfront about your sexual health with your partner. It’s hard to enjoy sex when you know you’ve got a secret or you’re not sure if everything’s ok with your body.
A clean bill of health is a stress reliever and a green light. Take steps to enjoy sex responsibly so you can increase intimacy with your partner.
You want a medical professional to let you know if there’s anything you can do to take care of any issues you may have right away. Don’t ignore or push worries under the rug. Take care of your body so it can serve you well and you can freely enjoy sex now and in the future.
8. STRIVE FOR WORK / LIFE BALANCE
When you feel you’re burning the candle at both ends, and rushing from school to work to more work at home, to some semblance of a social life, you may be out of balance. When your life becomes so rushed that you can’t enjoy certain things, like sex for instance, you need to make a change.
Sometimes you can’t change things right away. But make a plan that you can follow where your life can feel more civilized and you don’t have to frantically look at the clock all the time.
Make sure you have time for decompression and relaxing the tension away. Take time to smell the roses and enjoy your sex life.
It’s interesting how closely tied sexual wellness is to overall health. These steps may seem like a lot to process, but really they are simple adjustments to make in your life. Now I’d also love to hear from you - what do you do to cultivate sexual wellness in your life? Leave a comment below to let me know!
Loved these tips but need specific support in creating more sexual wellness in your life? I offer advice, information, and sex coaching, so if you need personalised guidance, don’t worry – I’m here for you! Find out more here.