32. KEEPING SEX HOT OVER LONG DISTANCE
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IS LONG-DISTANCE A DEAL BREAKER FOR YOUR SEX AND LOVE LIFE, OR CAN IT ACTUALLY MAKE THINGS HOTTER AND BETTER?
In this episode, Sara chats with sex-positive friends Helen and James, who have both been in long-term long-distance relationships and are happy to share their experiences.
We talk about some of the difficulties couples may experience with intimacy and the misunderstandings that occur over long-distance relationships.
But more importantly, we talk about how to keep it sexy and fun!
We explore the benefits of being in a long-distance relationship, such as independence and the space to cultivate desire, and how to build a strong foundation for your relationship to grow on.
We also get down and dirty sharing some ideas on how to keep things steamy, share personal intimate moments through sexting, video chats, photos, and even toys that can be used across the world!
We learn that it takes trust, great communication, clearly defined boundaries, constant dedication and a safe place to explore your sexuality if you want to keep your spark alive across long distance.
Long distance sex and relationships are hard work. But they can actually help us gain the skills to help us get better at our in-person relationships.
More Juicy Bits on the Show
- 10:40 – 17:06 Can long-distance relationships work or are they a dealbreaker?
- 30:00 - 35:04 Personal experiences of the benefits of long-distance relationships
- 39:23 - 41:00 – Surprising statistic around success rates of long-distance relationships
- 44:35 - 47:18 - Sex toys that can be shared together over long distance
- 53:40 -57:40 - Tips on sexting etiquette and personal safety
- 58:56 - 100:46 - Hilarious discussion around taking photos for sexting
- 103:15 - 104:40 - Learning how to express the need for ‘me time’ to your partner
Tips for Keeping Sex Hot over Long Distance
1. Communicate with your partner. Setting clear boundaries about your expectations of the relationship and your needs will lead the path for a successful relationship.
2. Find ways to experience sexual moments together. Watch porn at the same time, or find a toy that can be used together regardless of distance.
3. Talk about your expectations. Whether you’re looking for short-term fun or a long-term commitment, be upfront with your partner and talk about each other's expectations and how you can achieve them together.
4. Create a sexting and photo sharing ‘safe space”. Uphold safe practices around sexting (such as using apps and not putting your face in photos) so you can be assured that your photos and messages won’t be leaked or shared with outside parties.
AUDIO GUIDE: WANT TO GET BETTER IN BED?
Download this FREE audio guide to get 3 critical strategies to help you creatively and confidently rock it between the sheets.
Words of Wisdom
“The key thing is the commitment to being on the same journey and heading for the end goal together and that needs to be agreed on and clear for both parties otherwise you have a lot of ambiguity and you can become insecure and insecure and that's natural because you have become vulnerable with somebody and you're committed to being together and if that's not happening, it doesn't feel right.”
“This whole shame thing for women has got to go, you've got to own who you are. You are who you are and if you find someone who wants to challenge that and isn't comfortable, it's not you, it's them. They have issues, you need to be the beautiful woman that you are, wild and free. We are wild women, we are full of love, our hearts are full and we have so much to give.”
“I think a lot of it is because of communication. It forces you to communicate because if you don't communicate then you don't really have a relationship because you're not going to see them very often so you need to be clear about your feelings and expectations.”
“Sometimes in his instructions for me, he wants me to go and do things with other people. And it's fun and it's hot and really sexy, and it's very short-lived. I think for that to work, you need to have good rules. But when you're apart for a long time you do want to have sex with somebody else sometimes. Sometimes you just want the real thing!”
Other Great References You’ll Love
Pure App – A shameless hookup app for sharing fantasies, naughty communication and virtual sex.
Intimacy Deck - These cards are the perfect addition to date night, as they will help to spark deeper and more meaningful conversations.
15 Amazing Sex Toys for Long Distance Relationships – These remote controlled sex toys will help you ease sexual frustration and keep your sex life spicy.
Love Language Quiz - Love can get lost in translation when partners speak different love languages. This quiz can help you improve your communication and strengthen your relationship, regardless of whether its long distance or not.
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
What’s keeping your long-distance relationship steamy? Drop me a line and let me know!