How to Keep the Spark Alive When Working From Home
BY NATALIE SOMMER, RELATIONSHIP AND INTIMACY COACH
Homebound with your partner? Here are some work from home relationship tips to help you keep the spark alive.
As much as we might enjoy having more time with our SO, being stuck together in close quarters and having to both work from home everyday can really put a damper on intimacy.
While spending too much time apart can be damaging to a relationship, seeing your partner 24/7 can have the same effect and make it more challenging to fan the flames of desire (remember, fire needs air!).
If you’re struggling to keep the spark alive while you and your partner are stuck in the same space, read on for some work from home relationship tips from an intimacy coach to help you manage your days together while still keeping things interesting in the bedroom.
Work from Home Relationship Tips
Whether working from home with your partner is new to you or something that you’re used to doing, it’s important to remember that not every day will be perfect and blissful.
Managing expectations, setting boundaries and establishing roles are key to creating a healthy foundation – one that will pay off later in the evening (if you know what we mean!).
Make it a point to sit down together to communicate your needs and expectations for working from home.
You can set certain hours in which you wish to not be disturbed. Decide who will be in which room and when. Otherwise, you might be disturbed at any given time of the day.
Share Your Frustrations
Are you aware of your partner’s workload or other stressors? Are they aware of yours? How do each of you feel about working from home? What do you find challenging?
If this is not something you discuss with your partner on the regular, it would be good to set up a weekly meeting where you can check in with each other and think of ways you can give support.
Listen to your partner with an open mind and heart, and let them know that you hear and understand what they are saying.
This helps to build your understanding of what the other person is going through and also makes them feel more comfortable with sharing their feelings.
Do you find yourself feeling frustrated at times, but are not sure why? Talking it out with your partner can help to create clarity or even just release some tension.
You’ll also be less likely to take your frustrations out on your partner due to pent up emotions.
Figuring out your intimacy language with the quiz below will help you communicate better, inside and outside the bedroom.
Set Aside Time for Intimacy
It’s great to get to see more of your partner throughout the week. But if you’re seeing them morning, noon and night, day after day, it can get a bit much (no matter how much you love them).
Consider working in different rooms, or if that’s not possible, sitting with your backs to each other. You know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
You can still schedule to have lunch together or plan how to spend the evening after you’ve both finished your work.
Whether you decide to cook dinner together or go for a jog, spending quality time when you’re not distracted by work will be far more fruitful for your relationship.
If you’re feeling a little playful you could build some sexual tension throughout the day by sending each other naughty text messages from across the room, followed by a cheeky smile.
After work, see what happens if you just kiss for 15 minutes. Or see how long you can stand only touching each other above the waist.
This will build feelings of longing, anticipation and desire – just what you need to keep intimacy in the relationship alive.
Mixing Things Up to Keep the Spark Alive
When you look up date night ideas, going on a picnic is more often than not suggested.
It really is just the difference of not sitting at a table, but it never fails to create a more relaxed and intimate atmosphere. It doesn’t take a lot of energy and you don’t even need to leave your house.
Whether you set your picnic blanket up on the balcony, living room floor or bed, all that’s left to do is gather your favorite snacks and a bottle of wine.
And if you really want to set the mood, throw on a romantic playlist and some fairy lights. As you enjoy your meal, try not to talk about work. You can start by sharing all the things you appreciate and love about each other, or if you want to amp things up, take turns sharing your sexual fantasies.
This will certainly set sparks flying.
If picnicking is not your thing, another option is to cook each other dinner and dress up for the meal. The temptation to dine in your sweats is hard to resist, but you’ll be thankful you did.
Ask your man to put on a nice shirt and spray on your favorite cologne. In exchange, you can dress up in an outfit of his choice, or maybe you could surprise him by showing up to dinner in lingerie.
Games for In the Bedroom
If you’re finding it difficult to get in the mood at night, I suggest exploring some touch games. To heighten the experience, throw on a blindfold.
This also helps to build a sense of anticipation, which can be an incredible turn-on. You can use a scarf or invest in a comfortable blindfold designed for erotic play (I like this one).
Before you begin, set boundaries on what your partner is not allowed to do once the blindfold is on. When it’s your partner’s turn, allow some time for them to sink into the experience of darkness.
Then, slowly begin to run your fingers down your lover’s body. Start with the kinds of touch you know they love (if this level of intimacy is new for you and your partner, you can both take this quiz to find out more about each sensual preferences).
Then you can throw in a few surprises along the way. Not being able to anticipate what will happen next is what makes this activity so exciting.
Nathalie Sommer is a Relationship and Intimacy Coach who works with singles and couples to create healthy and intimate relationships so they can feel confident and empowered in and out of bed. Find out more about her intimacy work at www.nathaliesommer.com.
(Article first published in Sassy Hong Kong)