49. PRACTICING MINDFUL MASTURBATION
HOW CAN YOU BE MORE MINDFUL WITH MASTURBATION? MINDFULNESS HAS TAKEN OFF AS A WELLNESS PRACTICE IN RECENT YEARS, YET MOST PEOPLE DON’T GENERALLY THINK OF IT USING IN THE CONTEXT OF MASTURBATION.
Mindful masturbation is all about reconnecting with yourself and focusing on what makes you feel good. The practice encourages everyone to slow down, become conscious of pleasure and explore the body more holistically, instead of just focusing on the genitals.
On this episode, Sara and co-host Prescott invite Singaporean sexuality and intimacy coach Gabriel / “Pothos” to talk about the benefits of mindful masturbation, and how to get started with the practice.
While having a quick orgasm solo can be efficient and convenient, we share how mindful masturbation can bring benefits such as enhanced pleasure, increased sexual confidence, and a release of performance anxiety.
We also discuss how sex journals, fantasising and even porn watching can all be used as tools to discover more about our sexuality, if we use them mindfully.
Finally, Gabriel takes Sara and Prescott through a short, 10 minute guided meditation (for masturbation) demonstration on air, which listeners can follow along to too.
If you’re hoping to gain a deeper understanding of your sexuality the practice of mindful masturbation, this episode will offer you all the tips, insights and guidance you need.
More Juicy Bits on the Show
7:07-13:07 – Gabe talks about his journey with sensual massage
13:08-16:20 - What a sensual massage session consists of
16:23-24:45 - Daily mindfulness practices
24:45-30:10 - Benefits of mindful masturbation
30:10-33:19 - Is masturbating to porn mindful?
33:19-36:35 – Roles of solo sex and partnered sex
36:35-42:00 - What constitutes “un-mindful masturbation”
42:00-47:16 - Key principles of mindful masturbation
47:16-55:53 - Guided meditation (for masturbation) session
AUDIO GUIDE: WANT TO GET BETTER IN BED?
Download this FREE audio guide to get 3 critical strategies to help you creatively and confidently rock it between the sheets.
Tips on Getting Started with Mindful Masturbation
Create a sensual environment. Temperature, lighting, music and scents can make a big difference to your masturbation experience, and make it easier to get into the right headspace.
Slow down. Set aside time for mindful masturbation and don’t rush through it. Focus on the broader goal of pleasure and body exploration and remove any pressure of having an orgasm.
Tune into your senses. Become more aware of your breathing and focus on what you see, hear, taste, touch and notice how your body is responding to pleasure.
Touch your body holistically. Take the time to stimulate the different parts of your body in a self-loving, intentional way. instead of heading straight to your genitals.
Try something new. Changing up your masturbation routine can help you get out of “autopilot” mode. Using different toys, positions, erotic stimulus, manual strokes or using lube are great ideas to try.
Explore different sensations. Explore different speeds, pressure and intensities of touch, and try different materials such as feathers, toys, and lubricants to see what sensations you may enjoy.
Words of Wisdom from this Episode
“Mindfulness is about being present in your body. I use it in terms of emotional regulation. If I’m feeling happy, anxious, or stressed, I will practice mindfulness to understand ‘why do I feel this way, where is it coming from, where is it trying to bring me to and do I want to go there’. And sometimes I choose to go there and sometimes I don’t. It’s basically about making choices.”
“Mindful masturbation isn’t just to focus on the genitals. The whole body has different erogenous zones and they can differ from person to person. And over time your preferences can change. For me, I think that mindful masturbation helps me to discover what my body really likes and sometimes after your body is ‘warmed up’, a part that usually feels ticklish starts to feel very pleasurable. It doesn’t always have to feel sexual, sometimes it just feels really, really good.”
“Something that’s fun is that masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo activity. It can be done with a partner, whether you’re touching yourself or your partner is touching you. It can also be interesting to have that touch play out and it’s quite fun to explore different types of touches. And having an external touch can be quite different than experiencing your solo touch which can bring about new realms of discovery.”
“When people are really stressed out, they may turn to masturbation as a form of coping mechanism. If masturbation becomes a habit for stress relief, it becomes a reliance, it becomes a psychological dependence and that can change the meaning of masturbation for you. So, if you always masturbate when you’re sad, where’s the happy stuff? It can become a new realm of Pandora’s box and issues to discover.”
“Create a space where you feel comfortable and creating a sensual ambiance can be really beneficial. So certain scents, candles, massage oils or maybe even a hot bath with certain kinds of music that you enjoy. And allow your thoughts to roam around and freely wander. If you find your mind getting distracted, you can reign that back into focus on your current space. Allow your mind the freedom to develop and explore.”
Other Great References You’ll Love
Ohmibod - Our sponsor for this episode. Ohmibod is a leader in sexual wellness and award-winning sex tech. Use code BETTERINBED for 15% off at check-out until end of June 2022.
Ferly — A sexual wellness app for improving intimacy, building self confidence through guided meditation, therapy-based courses, and psychosexual education sessions and stories.
How I Taught Myself Mindful Masturbation—and Why You Should too – Benefits and tips on how to practice mindful masturbation – for women.
What You Need to Know About Mindful Masturbation – Expanding your thoughts from the ‘end goal’ to enjoying the pleasure and sensuality of masturbation – for men.
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
How can you be more mindful with your masturbation practice? Comment below and let us know!